Monthly Archives: December 2014

All I want for Christmas is Cinderella.

I actually wrote this years ago, but tonight, my daughter read me a cute fairytale in which the brave knight married the prince instead of the princess, and it reminded me of this (not particularly original) lesbian version of Cinderella I mused about when thinking of stories for my daugher.  I thought, hey, why not share for a wider audience.  If I had more energy, I’d seriously think about a Kickstarter to write this and pay my amazingly talented friend Korafox to illustrate it.  This would be created, sold, and marketed as a children’s book, without any parody or nudge-nudge-wink-wink.

Here is how the story goes:

The king and queen decide to throw a ball for the princess, who has been stubbornly refusing all the suitable princes and noblemen they introduce her to. They point out that she’s the heir to the kingdom (special bonus points if she has a younger brother, and yes, that’s a fuck you to Horton Hears a Who – the movie, not the book), and really, she needs to at least think about getting married. She sighs and agrees, but doesn’t look happy about it.

When the word goes out, Cinderella, who is similar to the more proactive versions of the heroine, works ong hours at the family shop under the direction of her stepmother, who is not very nice, alongside her two stepbrothers, who are not so much vain and cruel as lazy and petty.  Cinderella wistfully expresses a wish to go to the ball, mostly to wear a pretty dress and go to such a grand party, but there can be some subtle clues that she would like to meet the princess. Her stepbrothers laugh at her, because, duh, it’s for the princess, which means they’re looking for a prince. Stupid girl.

The rest goes as you might expect: stepbrothers go off to the ball, Cinderella stays at home, fairy godmother, etc (although please, no mice). I’d love to have Cinderella make a grand entrance and dance with the princess, but I think instead that she sort of stays on the sidelines and just watches with awe (people assume she is there with a brother).

At some point, the princess sneaks off to get a moment to herself, and she and Cinderella meet in a little alcove, on a balcony, pick your location. They talk, and laugh a bit, then dance, and share one sweet kiss before the clock strikes midnight. Cinderella runs home, leaving the shoe, you know the routine.

The next day, the king and queen ask the princess if there was anyone at the ball she particularly liked. She hedges a bit, blushes, and then finally blurts out, “the girl in the dark blue dress.” Or something similar.

The king and queen look at each other for a moment, not fearfully, but just that kind of silent communication parents have, and the king asks the princess if she’s sure this girl is the one. The princess nods, and the king says, “All right, then. How do we find her?”

You know how the rest of the story goes. Searching, shoe fitting, etc. Eventually, the princess and Cinderella are married, and live happily ever after. The stepbrothers get to run the shop.

The End.

Someone should really write that, don’t you think?

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